Random thought

[TINAHARRISON]

.....I am sure it would be easier for my birth father to search for me instead of me for him?

[Janet]

Hi Tina,  Since I joined Leicester Forum some time ago I've been reading your messages.  I understand what you are going through as I'm in the same position, can't find my "dad" even though I've got his name and address.  You haven't given a lot of info' on the Forum so I'd like to make some suggestions which might be of use - certainly hope so - you've waited long enough.  First of all, the records you have about your adoption, where they from the Court?  I applied to the Leicester Court and found out a lot more than the papers my adopted parents gave me.  Have you tried Social Services, Adoption Dept.  if they can't help due to overload of work, they might be able to put you on to a charity that deals specifically with adopted people.  That's what I did, although sadly the charity I used closed due to lack of funds.  Through them I found my mum and the rest of the family.    However, I've noticed recently that the Salvation Army help trace people, might be an option there. 

I also wondered if you could find out who owned the Bell Hotel at the time, the people might not be around now but there might be family members who could help (if they are anything like me they might not throw anything away) worth a try?   If your dad had an unusual middle name it could help.  Finally, I am registered with Ancestry and would be happy to help if you can get just a little more info'.   I do hope I've been of help to you and best wishes in your search.   Janet

[TINAHARRISON]

Hi Janet..so kind of you to take time to contact me regarding my search....however the reality is my birth father left before i was born so there are no details of him in relation to where he was at the time..social services contacted the bell pre birth but alas it was confirmed at the time he had left and this was not persued any further...so that was that and funnily enough the person from ss did not think that one day I would be an adult one day...it would have been easier for the person to have pushed for further details at the time..than me now..44yrs on...The Bell no longee standing ...not helpful!haha.Anyway such is life...may look in to charities though as you suggessted..I have gone through many options during my search including the ones you had mentioned but not had any luck yet.I do beleive I will find him and with all of Leicesters claim to fame in the media with King Rich and the footy...X factor winner..I know he could not escape the toughts of the memories back then..and maybe think of searching for his baby.I was touched to hear of your experience and wish you luck in your search! Please do keep in touch!Tina

[Janet]

 :)Hi Tina, Great to hear from you.  Sorry I couldn't be more help to you.    But give the charities a go, they should have access to more info' than we can get on our own.  One thing I forgot to mention, I had to pay for their help, about £200 if I remember correctly, but well worth it. 

The main thing is , don't give up hope.  you still have time on your side.  I was born 1946 so very good chance my dad is dead.  my natural mother died a few years ago so I never got to meet her.  I did find out that she had other children, so I have and half sister and half brother (both from different marriages). 

I dare say you've thought about the possibility that your dad is married with children which would be a very good reason for him not contacting you.  How would he explain to his family after all this time?     
It's just one possibility out of hundreds. 

Anyway, I will keep in touch and if I think of anything else I'll let you know.  In the meantime, take care, keep smiling, he's out there somewhere, waiting.   Cheers, Janet. 

[TINAHARRISON]

Hi Janet..saddened to hear that you didn't get to meet with your mum before she passed away..be comforted that a mother never forgets when her child was born..No matter what the circumstances..back then it must have been a difficult time.Have you managed to find any photos of her or information about her life? It's great you have siblings as they could be a path to family history and your identity which is so important with regards to what we are made up of.I have contacted a private detective..however rather pricey so saving up.I have thought that maybe my birth father has not told a soul!and recognize the impact of such things on families...but I like to see the glass of life half full and although it is initially for me...it is also for my own children.
Keep searching for what you need....as the shampoo ad says....beacause your worth it!!haha Take care Tina

[Janet]

Hi Tina,  first of all, what a brilliant idea - private detective.  As you say, expensive but worth every penny if they get results.  Please let me know when you hear anything.  You say this is not just for you but also your children.  On a practical note, we really need to know if there are any serious illnesses in the family (something the authorities never thought  about when  we were adopted.  I worry I could be passing on an illness to my daughter. 

Regarding my situation, I found out from my mum's death cert' that she had a son.  The charity got in touch with him and he told them he had a half sister.  Neither of them knew about me so it was  a great shock for them.  He wasn't bothered about getting in touch but my half sister did and we have been corresponding since.  A year last September we went to visit her and her husband.  As you can imagine, I was really worried about meeting  but it turned out better than I could have wished.  They are a lovely couple and we met  three times while we were there. 

It would be lovely to think that one day you might be in the same situation.  I really hope it works out for you.  In the meantime, take care and keep in touch.  Janet

[TINAHARRISON]

Thanks Janet..saving up!so nice that you have the opportunity in your life time to meet some of your family...how wonderful! Hope you took lots of photos?there is nothing more special than capturing a moment in time and being able to study it and use your imagination to create the character and personality relating to what you see before you.My mum's friend confirmed that she had a picture of my birth father how ever she was not able to locate it and thinks that it may have been lost in transit....sad but there are things that some times can't change so not worth grumbling about!haha any way will keep in touch!!!!Tina